Ring By Spring

Yesterday I was walking across the courtyard to my apartment complex and saw that one of my neighbors had put up some new decorations in their window. It looked all red and cutesy, and I rolled my eyes, annoyed that they had Valentine's Day stuff up and it's not even February yet. 

Then I saw the wedding bells. Those annoying, 1950s, 3D tissue paper wedding bells, hanging from their outside lamp like a pair of fuzzy dice for your car. It was only when I got closer that I saw the Congratulations banner on the door and the badly made sign that read, "The Future Mrs. Lewis*". I wanted to throw up a little. 

"Marriage is an epidemic here," I heard a character in an old black and white movie say the other day. My apartmentmate and I laughed, joking that we should get shirts with that quote on it. And it's true here on our campus, marriage is an epidemic. Just since classes started in the fall, I have heard about five (six, counting The Future Mrs. Lewis) couples who have gotten engaged. That averages out to about one couple per month, and that's just the people I know, not including everyone else on campus. Christian colleges like mine are the only place in the world that you can find this phenomenon.

People here seem to believe that marriage is the be-all-end-all to human existence. Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against marriage. I myself hope to get married some day. But on my campus, people tend to think that if you've been dating for five minutes that you're in love and should get married. Guys come here looking for a girl that will make him dinner and do his laundry while he's out doing his job: reaching people for Jesus (we have a lot of ministry majors). Girls come looking for that perfect guy  so that they can have a beautiful wedding before settling down and starting to have babies. In all honesty it's an unhealthy situation. No one knows what to do with a girl who wants to have a career outside of taking care of children, or a guy who wants to drop out of school in order to care for the homeless. Heaven forbid they break out of the traditional mold and live up to their full potential. (Disclaimer: this is in no way saying that stay-at-home parents aren't living up to their full potential. I am just pointing out that not everyone is meant for that type of lifestyle.) 

I wish that Christians, especially those that I interact with here at school everyday, could see that there is more to life than something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. More than that, not everyone is meant to be married. Now that is something you don't often hear in the Christian world today. If you listen closely you'll notice that when youth group leaders teach abstinence, the phrase is "saving yourself for marriage" - not keeping your mind and heart pure, not learning to deal with lust, but waiting until you get married. No one ever talks about the call to be single, or how to interact with couples without feeling like the fifth wheel, or what to say at family reunions when all your cousins have babies and your Aunt Edna is harping on you, wanting to know when you'll be the one with the baby. That's the kind of stuff they need to write books about. Not all those Christian young adult dating advice things. News flash: life isn't all about sex. 

Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one here who has noticed that.